Aging sucks

We always think our parents invincible. They are steady, and no matter how old you are you are always their child. They know the answer to everything, they know how to fix and do everything, and they know who you are no matter what stage of life you are in. They are the ROCK that connects us to our family. So what happens when they can no longer be the rock? What happens when they don't know you, they don't know everything, and they are no longer invincible? It is so difficult to see our parents age. It is hard to become the adult, the rock, the voice of reason amidst a sea of confusion.

I had the privilege to work in assisted living as a CNA, being the rock and caretaker to those who could no longer take care of themselves. It is easy when it is a stranger you are comforting, dressing, feeding, caring for. I heard the most amazing life stories, the saddest tales, and heroic acts. I watched as families gathered to lift and encourage loved ones, and I mourned for those whose families never came at all. I cried for every one who left this Earth, and even celebrated a few whose suffering ended. But those feelings are easy with strangers. What happens when it's your family?

We currently have a family member entering this stage of life. One where the child becomes the adult. And it's hard. It's hard to watch them fall, figuratively and literally. It's hard to keep a smile while dispelling the confusion and lost memories. But there is a peaceful compassion that fills us. They are no longer in those early stages, where you don't know if they are just outspoken, rude, or cranky. There is now an understanding that our loved one will not be with us much longer. And we cherish those moments left to us. We have hard conversations, make difficult decisions, and pray for things to change. But we know what is coming, how it will end. And in the end, we love them. We care for them. We knit together our family ties, we laugh and talk about good memories, and cherish the time we have. Sometimes we let the sadness creep in. Thinking of a future that will never be, everything they will miss of our lives and our posterity. And we go on.

With the passing of those loved ones, our rocks, we then become the rocks for our families. The invincible ones, the know it alls, the wise elders who care for the generations to come. Until it is our day to be cared for and pass the rock to the next generation in line. Aging sucks, for we all age a little more each day until we finally see our rest.