And here is where I recant and ask forgiveness.

Being a stay at home mom has huge advantages, one of those being the ability to be involved with my child's education. We go to a charter school. We LOVE our charter school! We have been at the school since it's inception and I am grateful every day for the ambitious individuals who wanted more for the kids in our community. I have been a room mom, a reading group mom, a music helper mom, a member of the Parent Faculty Association, Secretary of said association, and President of said association! I've been on field trips, fundraisers, work crews, and spent waaaay too much time in the principals office and in front of the school board. I've watched as the high school took shape, and then sent my oldest through it. I have sent my kids, all 4, through ALL of the teachers at this school. And loved the majority of them. I have loved being involved, knowing what my kids are doing, and being able to be frank and up front with those in charge of my kids education. I like to think I've been able to work hand in hand with those teachers by instilling a love of learning, respect, and work ethic into my kids. I have lived and breathed my kids' education, and probably stepped on more toes than I can count.

And, I have not been fair the last few years. Being so close to a situation can cause tunnel vision, and in turn I lost sight of the big picture. You see, I became disillusioned when a favorite teacher I worked with was not renewed. I was so upset, I unfairly treated the new teacher coldly. She is now one of my daughters favorite people, and frankly, I like her too. I was present when small changes were made that didn't fit with what many believed were essential guidelines for the school. But we are not the same as others who follow our education model. Our community and students are different. And I have been horribly unfair, in saying I love the k-8 program and encourage ALL to apply, but the high school is lacking. I was quick to notice the faults, and not the small changes. I was quick to make complaint, and somewhat tarnish the reputation the school was trying to build. I was unfair, because I lost sight of the big picture. Hearing complaints and grievances in too many meetings justified my own doubt and dissatisfaction.

So, here is the TRUTH: beyond my tunnel vision, our charter school is the best choice for children k-12. Yes, the high school is great. I forgot how wonderful and hardworking some of the teachers are. I forgot how safe and cared for my teenagers have been. I failed to see the changes that were being made as the administration, school board, and staff, strive to bring the vision for 9-12 in-line. I often mourn that one of my teens chose to leave our charter for the big, bad, world of public education. And it has changed her.

As I step back, out of the trenches of service and into the role of onlooker, I ask forgiveness for my tunnel vision. I always thought a brutally honest opinion was more constructive than one given softly and without substance. Unfortunately a brutally honest opinion can undermine the efforts of the small but crucial changes others try to bring about. So, I'm sorry. I was too negative, too close, and too willing to opine without thought of how those words affected a large number of people. I am ever grateful for the kind rebuke that at first angered me, then led to contemplation, and then humility and recognition.

It is true, familiarity breeds contempt. I can only hope that those in the trenches, who work tirelessly day in and day out, too close to the failings and successes, remember to see just the successes. Remember there are more students than just yours. Remember to thank those who work to correct mistakes. Remember to be fair, and remember they are all people first, with weaknesses, feelings, and the best interests of the students in mind.

Our charter school is great. And I encourage ANYONE to apply there.