Stealth parenting

My husband is a PRO at stealth parenting. I know that when I leave the house, the kids will behave as if there is no parental supervision, even though he is in the same room. He is ninja like that. The kids call me to ask me for stuff...."did you ask your father?" They call for a band-aid..."did you ask your father?" They ask to have homework checked while I make dinner, they yell for me to settle arguments, and stand there whining at me trying to break through my resolve. "Did you ask your father?" The answer is always NO. They didn't ask their dad.

Now, let me preface this by saying Rob is an AMAZING father. He's just not Mom. I asked the kids tonight how often they ask their dad for something, and then ask me to make sure the answer was correct. 99% of the time they do this. I then asked how often they ask me for something, and then ask dad to make sure the answer is correct. 0%. I asked why: because Dad will get in trouble. Ha!

Here is my theory: This happens in most families. It was certainly true in mine growing up, as it was my husbands. Moms set the tone. She sets the rules, she nurtures the kids, and she takes care of the home. The theory is, this is EXACTLY how Heavenly Father planned it. In the Proclamation on the Family, it states husbands and wives are to work together. That husbands are to preside and provide and work with their wives. That wives are to nurture, guide, and whatnot their children with their husbands. (some liberal paraphrasing there) As we come up to father's day, I often think about all that my father, and my husband, do for me and my children. They provide, teach work, show kindness and love, and LOVE the mother of their children. They have worked with their wives in raising good, righteous, families. But they couldn't do it without their helpmeet. Their wives. As mothers/wives we encourage and support and LOVE our husbands. We raise our children, nurture them, teach them in the home, and fiercely protect them. That is our JOB.

So when I leave the house, I should not be surprised to get a phone call in 3 minutes asking for stuff, even though dad is there. And truly, I know he can take care of them fine. The house will be standing when I get home, and only 1/2 the box of band-aids will have been used, and something edible will have been prepared and fed to them. But, it's nice to know I'm the mom. The one they come to, the one they call, the one they rely on. As my oldest 2 get ready for college, I wonder how many phone calls I will get. If they will just move into their dorms and never be seen again as they move on and LIVE life. But they still need me. They call for comfort in difficult situations. They sit on my bed until the wee hours pouring out troubles that only teenagers have. So, I'm choosing to be grateful I'm the parent of choice for now. The one the younger 2 come to, call every 5 minutes, show every treasure to, and ask to do every school project with, and even correct math homework that I have half forgotten how to do. My husband gets to parent them in different ways, and I am grateful for those moments. I am so glad we get to be different. We bring our strengths to our parenting. He gets to be the Ninja, and I'm okay with that!