My Sunshine

Haiden is afraid of bugs, and the basement, and the bathroom, and anything else she doesn't want to do. At the other end of this real pretend fear, is the very real anxiety and panic that happens to her little body when she decides she is scared.

Today, she was afraid of bugs, because Jordan was telling her not to go outside or the bugs would get her. (Thank you, Jordan.) Then the screaming panic ensued because the kids went outside and the bugs were going to get them. (once again, thank you, Jordan.) Twenty minutes after this began and she was calm again, (This is a short tantrum compared with how it was before she started seeing her new dr. Those were about an hour long screaming fits.) Rob and I finally got her dressed and ready to go to Grandma's house. Now for the socks and shoes. She had to do the socks, thank goodness, because I never get the line just right on her toes. Her shoes were downstairs and we asked her to please go get them. And again it was no, I'm scared. Rob and I spent almost ten minutes talking to her about it, trying to convince her, trying to cajole her, trying to demand that she just go downstairs and get her shoes. At this point, I can see the panic and anxiety begin to rise again into her eyes, just from thinking about it and talking about it. So, I stopped talking, Rob stopped talking, and I had to get her to repeat after me that she is big, she is 4, that our house is safe, that there is nothing to be scared of. She said it about 3 times, before she would go down the stairs to get her shoes. And, she was sooo excited and so proud of herself when she came back up with them, because she was so big. And then we told her they were even neater because they could stomp all the bugs between the house and the car.

Today was one of the more trying days with her since she has started treatment for her ASD. She is still the sweetest, funniest kid ever. I hope she stays that way and that I can remember to let her do things by herself, even if it means taking twice as long to get things done.